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In To Sam, With Love, Vicki Paris Goodman recounts her surprising experience of insights and inspiration after the death of her beloved husband Sam. Expecting despair, instead she was blessed with an influx of optimism. She felt the strong presence of a “helping hand” guiding her to circumvent the “cycle of grief.”
Strange and serendipitous events inspired her to question her prior down-to-earth notions of life, death, and faith. Who or what was assisting her? Why did she, neither an optimist nor a pessimist, feel so buoyant and uplifted when pondering the future? How could her profound sadness so quickly have taken a back seat to hopeful anticipation? From what source emanated the sudden motivation to attempt challenging new undertakings?
The answers come, in part, from a fascinating book recommended by a hospice chaplain, the welcome attention of friends and acquaintances, a bucket list, and a willingness to push the limits of her comfort zone. She is convinced the rest can only be explained by her newly strengthened reliance on a higher power.
Ms. Goodman leads the reader on a sometimes funny, often poignant journey from Sam’s early life until his death and beyond. His diagnosis, illness, and treatment are described in gripping, even heartbreaking, detail. She describes her descent into anxiety and despair as Sam nears the end of his life, only to find the strength to pull herself up when she had no other choice.
She illuminates Sam’s rare decency as a human being, elevating her to do good things before and after his death. She transformed herself into the caregiver Sam needed as his health began to fail. She conquered her impatience, her worst personality flaw. After his passing, she found many ways to honor Sam’s memory. And much more.
To Sam, With Love reveals the intimate highlights of Ms. Goodman’s spiritual awakening, her determination to become the quintessential survivor, and her desire to make the most of a life that would no longer include her loving husband. She writes openly about all of it, fully acknowledging her grief as she entertains myriad possibilities for an exciting and meaningful future. She gives the reader more than a peek into that future, as she details the first two years of her successful efforts to move on.
Above all, Ms. Goodman conceived of the book as a tool for surviving spouses to consider an alternative way of viewing their loss and the exciting future that awaits them.
