To Sam, With Love

“I met Sam a few years before his diagnosis. I enjoyed reading about his life, especially the years before we met. He had a great sense of humor; I could imagine the spark in his voice and the shine in his eyes as I read the stories!!! Sam was a good man! Vicki captured his personality perfectly with her words!!! I love the peace and calmness that Vicki has found after his death. She has received many affirming signs of their everlasting love.”

“For anyone who is facing the loss of, or recently lost, a loved one, this is the book to read. Vicki talks about her experiences following the loss of her beloved husband Sam. She tells us about Sam's life as he was growing up, his life as an adult before meeting her, and then the story of how they met and their life as a married couple. You feel like you know Sam. Then, she describes his devastating illness and then his loss. Vicki does not experience the grieving process as we've all been told we should. While she deeply grieved the loss of the man she loved, she found her life taking new and unexpected turns, leading her to exciting new experiences and adventures and a spiritual awakening. She shows us that there is no one right way to grieve, and this knowledge will help others who find themselves not following the "expected" grieving process.”

“Vicki Goodman will keep the reader enchanted. Although her memories of Sam are similar to those that many of of us have lived, her depth of observation and ease of telling add a great deal of warmth, and even affection, that will take you on an incomparable journey. Enjoy!”

“To Sam, with Love” is authentic, humorous, sacred, offering a personal glimpse into the author’s journey at a time she least expected. There are many scenes to touch the reader in the heartstrings, asking them to examine their own reactions in various situations. The author takes us on a journey through the stages of death and dying as seen through her own emotions and thoughts along the way. A must read for anyone facing the prospect of losing someone to disease or having lost someone. Vicki Goodman looks to hope as she addresses her future after losing her loved one. You will not be disappointed.

On the opening page of “To Sam, With Love”, author Vicki Paris Goodman makes the statement “Life after Sam’s death has not been terribly sad.” Intrigued by this bold statement, I knew I needed to read more! Ms. Goodman led me through a humorous and tender tribute to her late husband, Sam Goodman. Ample photographs offer a familiarity with this engaging couple. Ms. Goodman has woven an inviting narrative. The reader can’t help but celebrate their love and cheer on the author as she matures and learns important life lessons from the man she married who “always did the right thing”. I was so caught up in their “ordinary” life together that when Sam receives his cancer diagnosis, I yelled “NO! Not now!” at the book. Ms. Goodman asks the question “Are we free to grieve as we see fit?” Her book answers that question with a resounding “Yes!” While continuing to honor her late husband’s memory and his many stellar qualities, Ms. Goodman is creating a new, busy and satisfying life for herself. She is exploring a new relationship with a man she met online. In short, she is thriving. Perhaps the most surprising revelation is Ms. Goodman’s growing belief in God and an “unseen helping hand” guiding her. Raised in a secular Jewish home, Ms. Goodman had no religious tradition to anchor her emotions through the tragedy of her husband’s illness and death. With the help of others, she is discovering the power of faith and prayer, which have endowed her with peace and optimism. Ms. Goodman is not looking back with regret! This reader is looking forward to Ms. Goodman’s next offering. To use a Sam-ism: “You Go Girl!”

In To Sam, With Love, author Vicki Paris Goodman says, “Maybe that is, in part, why Sam’s death, though at first confusing and disorienting, left me feeling more hope than sadness, more gratitude than pain. In other words, I appear to be very good at rising to meet the major challenges of life. Still, I was pretty sure something else was working in my favor…” This tells how the author views optimism in her life. This book encourages me as I am going through a somewhat similar situation to the author’s, to prepare a good way to control my emotions when I am down. Furthermore, the author tells us that one can have a relationship after the death of a spouse without disrespecting her spouse, and while keeping the good memories. This book is like sunshine through gray clouds in the sky. I am keeping this book in the drawer of my bedside table, so I can read it again whenever I need to hear cheering stories. Thank you Vicki for sharing your memories.

"To Sam with Love" is a warm and engaging story about the author’s relationship with her husband Sam, and his unexpected passing. Shortly after everything falls into place with the anticipation of a long and comfortable retired life together, Sam and Vicki receive tragic news. I enjoyed how Ms. Goodman succeeds in tenderly revealing the joy, humor and endearing imperfection of a couple who love each other so much. As the story continues, we can see Sam through Vicki’s eyes and understand the pain she must have felt at the moment of his diagnosis and ultimately, his passing. As she grapples with the grief, she discovers a resilience she didn’t know she had and is surprised at her own reactions. I appreciate that Ms. Goodman shared her experience and lessons learned. In my observation, she convincingly shows that if we are willing to embrace change, we can develop strategies that allow us to move forward with hope even during times of tragedy. As one example, her emotional survival required that she explore expanding her views related to the concepts of spirituality and afterlife. In conjunction with this, she describes a surprising spiritual experience related to Sam that profoundly affects her. In the depth of her grief, she discovers the power of gratitude, allowing us to preserve our fondest memories of a significant other with joy rather than guilt. It also allows us to recognize that love and memories don’t need to be discarded for us to move forward. To me, Vicki’s story is an example of how these memories are part of who we are and how they have the potential to enhance each of us as a person as well as any relationship we might have in the future. As someone who also lost a beloved husband unexpectedly, I relate to so many aspects of Vicki’s experience, and find comfort in her perspective. Whether you’ve suffered the loss of a significant other or not, I encourage you to read this book. It is a story from real life, not only about grief, but it is also an example of how love and hope intertwine.

Touching! In writing this book, Vicki Paris Goodman has not only provided us with knowledge of her departed soulmate, Sam, but in doing so, has helped herself and many others begin their grieving process with hope.